Empaths are Not Here to Transmute Other People’s Energy

There’s a dangerous idea being posted on the Internet: the purpose of an empath is to transform negative energy into positive. I know personally how dangerous this is, as I believed this was my role for many years before I even learned there was a word for who I am — empath. One who has a direct experience of other people’s emotions or physical sensations.

Empaths are naturally drawn to healing. Where this can go awry is when we begin to self-identify as a ‘rescuer’ of others. Since childhood, I could easily pick up anyone’s energetic state — I read them using my empathic antennae, having a knowing of their pain while at the same time being able to see their Divine inner essence. Because I was born with this gift, I mistakenly thought I was somehow responsible for everyone else’s emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health.

I didn’t want them to be in pain because when they’re hurting, so was I.

So, I took their wounds into my mind, my heart and my physical body in an attempt to release them from it. And of course, other people allowed me to do it, some even deliberately pouring their wounds into me because it provided them with the temporary relief that at least someone else understood what they were experiencing.

I lost myself.

I could not differentiate who I was from their pain. I stayed in dysfunctional after dysfunctional relationship, thinking I was ‘helping’ others step up into their power, but instead I was actually encouraging their victimhood. Why would someone need to face their own wounds and do their own healing when I was holding all of their pain for them?

The cost to me was enormous.

At one point, I simply shut off all external emotional reactions. I remember during an employee review my supervisor asking me, ‘Bevin, do you ever feel anything?’ I never see you get angry or sad…’ What? Are you kidding me, I feel absolutely everything! This was one of many wake-up calls to come…

Wake-up call #2 came after ten years of a friendship with a woman who experienced a very difficult childhood and manifested those wounds into really poor life choices. Every time I thought that she was starting to get her life together, making positive steps…