Empaths: how can you tell if a relationship is reciprocal?
Science tells us that all objects, even our physical bodies, vibrate at the atomic level to a specific frequency. When we interact with our environment and especially with other people, there is an exchange of vibratory energy.
Perceptive souls are more ‘tuned in’ to the subtle energies around us.
Whenever you connect with others, you’re picking up information, a energetic language if you will. Sometimes, it seems like you’re ‘giving’ energy while other times you experience ‘receiving’ energy.
So, how does that relate to reciprocal relationships?
Reciprocal is defined as mutual action: something given, felt or done in return.
An agreement bearing equally on both parties.
If you stop to think about the relationships in your life, how mutual are they? I don’t suggest you keep score — for every thing you do, someone has to immediately do something in return, but generally speaking, do they seem balanced? Is there a commitment on both sides to give and is there also a willingness on your part to receive? For empaths, giving makes us feel great, has us feel needed. We see a problem or that someone is hurting and we rush in to provide support.
Receiving from others however, can be a challenge for many empaths.
Ask yourself: are the people in your life offering to give or do they just seem to take? Before you make a snap judgement, take time to pause and reflect. If someone’s been offering to help and you keep declining, it’s important to realize they were indeed attempting to be reciprocal.
You were simply not receiving.
However, if you are giving and giving and giving without at least an occasional offer in return, the relationship is likely unbalanced or even one-sided. At different times, we all go through cycles when our capacity to give may be reduced by life circumstances. For long-term relationships though, the balance of giving and receiving over time should be mutual.
Why is reciprocity so important for relationships?
I have yet to meet an empath who has not experienced a past toxic relationship, with a narcissist or in codependency. A relationship that drains our energy and is completely one-sided.
An empath provides exactly what the toxic person is looking for: deep compassion, a predisposition towards being a ‘rescuer’ and difficulty with setting healthy boundaries.
Toxic relationships might go on for some time before you choose to leave, as you may try to give others the ‘benefit of the doubt.’ Healing from these hurtful, even abusive relationships can be a long road. If you’ve not learned how to set boundaries and identify red flags, other toxic relationships may show up to test your resolve.
Once you’ve experienced one toxic relationship, you tend to be on high alert for another. You constantly look for the signs and symptoms in every new person that comes along. It’s important to educate yourself about how specific personality disorders present themselves.
Every person exhibits narcissism, to an extent. Without believing that we deserve certain things; we would never try to interview for our dream job, we would never ask someone out on a date, or take time to care for our needs. This is a healthy expression of narcissism (pursuing something good for self without using others to get what you want).
There’s an easy way to tell if someone is willing to be reciprocal. The first time you hear that warning bell or get a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, quite simply tell them no. If they react with understanding and a willingness to compromise, they are also willing to be reciprocal. If they get angry or insist you have to comply with what they want, it’s time to consider whether this relationship is in your best interest.
Reciprocity is the most important relationship factor that allow empaths to trust again, be willing to be vulnerable, make a true connection.
I invite you to take a few moments today to review your current relationships. Do you have a mutual agreement bearing equally on both parties?
Letting go of narcissism and codependent patterns is one of the topics covered in my new 30 page e-book, Empaths Finding True Love, at Last! Learn to identify red flags (warning signs) and green flags that tell your relationship is indeed healthy, loving and reciprocal.
Download your complimentary copy here…
