My Long Road out of Escapism into Leadership
There will be multiple times in your life when the ‘old you’, the skin you’ve become comfortable in, no longer fits. When metaphorically, it’s time to shed, to undergo a spiritual death and rebirth.
The ‘new you’ has been there all along, like a shadow underneath just waiting to be revealed by illumination. You may have caught glimpses of your reflection here and there, but the totality remains elusive.
Recently, I’ve had reason to reflect on my own long road out of escapism and into the leadership spotlight.
We all have eras in our life when we lived from a less conscious viewpoint. When we both accomplished wonderful things and made fear-based decisions. When as a highly sensitive person and an empath, I lived day-to-day in survival mode.
I remember sensing and feeling everything, from as far back as three years old. I consider myself lucky when my parents decided to leave the fast-paced urban/suburban lifestyle to move to a remote valley. Growing up on a farm, I communed with the animals, played in the garden and every night gazed up into a vast universe of stars and planets, sans light pollution.
I was incredibly interconnected with the web of life.
Fast forward to young adulthood, I fell in love much too young, married at 19, enmeshed before I could claim any knowledge of who I truly am. I learned so much from that twenty year commitment, from the people who entered and exited my life, from how I chose to use my gift to serve in my local community.
Looking back, I was laying an important foundation for the wisdom and the toolkit that supports me now.
I lived almost twenty years in a state of escapism. I was overwhelmed by the dissonant energy of dysfunctional relationships and the collective energy I picked up from all around me.
On some level, I knew just how sensitive I was, but continued to deny it.
I tried to push through, fit in, whatever that means. I distracted myself with food and marijuana and television and excessive hours at work. Isolated behind emotional and physical walls; I trusted very few people, almost no one actually.
Looking back, I liken those two decades to the journey of a monk. A refugee who walks through the wilderness, dodging serpents and scorpions to simply exist in a small, dark cave. Sitting quietly by the fire each night, going within, asking the existential questions. Wondering about the purpose of living with a continuous underlying sense of discontent.
I knew there was more, but what did more even mean?
I rejected God and all he stands for, then traveled a long road to find him again. Only to realize he is not a he but instead a universal, elemental Source. The essence in all of us, connected to all that is. Being interwoven into the fabric of the Universe is achingly beautiful and absolutely more than one human body, one human mind can possibly contain.
Desperately swimming upward through the murky depths. Watching the water ripple out as I break the surface in a ragged, gasping breath. Scanning for the shoreline, seeking solid ground on which to root my feet.
Waking up, over and over. Each time, recognizing that living in a dream state can either be an escape mechanism or a foreshadowing of what’s to come. Learned to embrace the archetype of wounded healer. Applied the balm to my own deep hurts then passed the jar of salve to others.
Truth be told, a part of me enjoyed that isolation (and still does sometimes). Perhaps it’s exactly what was needed to prepare me for what’s next.
Because like so many across our planet, I’m called forth into leadership. My soul came here to speak out, to foster transformation. To co-create a model of compassionate, uplifting and heart-centered guidance. To play a role in the greater network facilitating a crucial shift for our planet.
It is time and I am ready.
Reflecting on our past is vital, healing any final, hidden wounds is crucial. Then fully embodying we are no longer wounded, no longer a victim of our circumstances or our environment. The era of isolation has passed.
We are called to connect with individual and collective power from within.
I write this to any sensitive, empathic and intuitive soul longing to come out of isolation. You who hear the drumbeat, calling you forth.
It’s time to trust yourself. To learn foundational skills for navigating life while being tuned-in. Manage your energy, make conscious choices, find supportive relationships, expand your unique gifts and abilities.
Join us. You are loved, you are welcomed and accepted for exactly who you are. This is your support network, you are no longer alone but instead in the company of gentle warriors. For the monk not only enters a deeply meditative state, but also prepares as a spiritual warrior.
It’s an incredible road from isolationism, escapism into leadership.
Are you ready? I’m here to walk beside you.
