Newly Sensitive: for those who just found out, but always knew…
For those who just learned about the trait of sensory processing sensitivity, more commonly known as being highly sensitive, welcome home.
Being ‘newly sensitive’ can feel like being born out into the world a second time. Everything may feel strange, confusing and a bit blurry. You’re just trying to get your bearings again, find a foundation of understanding who you are through the lens of this new discovery.
I’ve yet to meet anyone whose life was not affected in some profound way by this new knowledge.
In every workshop I’ve led for highly sensitive people, someone always laments, ‘Why didn’t I learn about this trait sooner? My life would have been so different!’
Rest assured, this knowledge appeared to you at exactly the right time. Everything you’ve learned, experienced, struggled with and triumphed over prepared you to be right here, right now.
The most important thing to know is you are not alone.
At the time of this writing, there are approximately 1.4 billion highly sensitive people on our planet. You’re in good company! 1 in 5 people you know, are also highly sensitive but many still walk around every day feeling wrong about who they are because they don’t even know our trait exists. Fortunately, increasing numbers of HSPs are not only learning about, but fully embracing our sensitivity as strength!
Sensitive people share four common characteristics (depth of processing, overstimulation, emotional responsiveness and sensitivity to subtleties) and yet, each of us has evolved through a completely different life experience.
At first, sensitivity may feel like the all-encompassing answer to every question you’ve had. Keep in mind that sensitivity is only part of who you are. You have also been shaped by the culture you grew up in, your generation, gender, your chosen profession, your family relationships and so many more factors.
Take a moment to log on to any HSP Facebook group and you’ll notice common themes. You’ll also witness strong disagreements about what being sensitive really is. HSPs defending their own unique perspective, sometimes even in a less than ‘sensitive’ way.
First and foremost, know that your feelings and life experiences are valid, regardless if anyone else understands. This idea can be challenging if you’ve been in the habit of trying to fit in. Embracing your sensitivity is about believing in yourself. Letting go of other people’s expectations and standing firmly in your own authenticity.
Connecting with community is one of the most important first steps for sensitive people. We absolutely need to be with others who understand and share our experiences. You can make those important connections by joining a HSP support group on social media or searching Meetup.com for a group in your local area. I’ve run an HSP meetup community in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area for six years and have several online communities as well — so I know firsthand how much we need our tribe.
It’s normal at this stage to look back at your life and ‘reframe’ past experiences and relationships in the context of your sensitive trait. Many things you thought you knew, may now undergo a dramatic shift.
Some of your discoveries will be joyous and uplifting, while others may take you on a journey into the shadow self — those parts where you’ve been holding onto shame or guilt or past wounds. Especially if you grew up in a family where your sensitivity was not understood or honored. Be gentle with yourself as you traverse this new terrain, and remember, there’s no deadline for your own exploration and healing.
You may wonder, who can I talk to about this?
Is it safe to tell my friends and family?
Will I be accepted?
For the past six years, I’ve coached 1:1 and lead group programs about the trait of sensitivity, supporting hundreds of HSPs and empaths on their journey of exploration and empowerment. I offer a 4-session coaching package specifically designed to help you navigate being newly sensitive.
Schedule a complimentary 30-minute call to explore how I can support you at this crucial time.
