I arose early on the morning of my solar return (birthday), the sky still dark, dotted by distant stars. As is my custom, I tuned in to the energy of the day through an oracle reading- the most prominent archetype who appeared was the Empress.
A Divine feminine leader holding a drum in one hand and a staff of the moon cycles in another. A belt of hearts around her waist and a collection of skulls dangling from her skirt — people, places and things who’ve passed out of her life throughout the years.
She represents our power of manifestation, tapping into our deepest intuitive knowing, radical trust as we follow the inclinations of our hearts. The ability to cast forward an aligned intention and receive the goodness of the Universe.
I gathered my drum and went outside to commune with the sun as it rose over the mountains in front of my home. Standing firmly on the third-floor deck, I beat a slow, steady rhythm. Synchronizing my heartbeat to the heartbeat of the Earth.
I drummed, and drummed, and drummed some more, waiting for that special moment when the sun would crest the peak of the mountain before me. How special that would be on my birthday!
The light grew, illuminating the physical world around me. I began to hear sounds of my neighbors stirring. One came out and checked their mailbox, startled to look up and see me standing there in my bathrobe, drumming for the sun. Another neighbor walked her dog and inconspicuously looked out of the corner of her eye. I stood firm.
I heard a little one next door, crying for her mom. A school bus lumbered noisily up the road, and still I drummed.
Where is the sun? Why is it taking so long? I’m starting to get cold. Should I go in? Maybe this is a shamanic initiation, to see if I’m patient and persistent enough…
I drummed and continued to wait. The light grew, I could see sunrays reflected upon a shorter part of the mountain peak and yet, still nothing showing at the top. My arm was growing tired from holding up the drum and my body began to shiver.
Finally, I went inside and settled in a chair looking out of the window — still waiting for the sun to rise. I rocked to and fro, expending internal energy. The lyrics of a 1970’s Carly Simon song…