There are two different aspects to this dialogue - one is individual responsibility and the other is systemic responsibility. Individuals, like you and I will vary in our experiences, biases and level of empathy for people who are different. A black man can simultaneously be oppressed, while also oppressing others, due to gender, socioeconomic status, etc. A white woman can simultaneously be oppressed, while also oppressing others based on the same criteria.

The fact that men die more often in battle is because mainly men decided that war is an important thing to engage in, for dominance and control.

The reason people of color are not paid equal wages, have equal educational opportunities or equally access to housing and other societal benefits is because white men and white women decided to enslave and subjugate.

No one here is denying the history.

But to minimize my journey as a feminist, as just a pretty face for white men, is A) you engaging your male privilege to make belittling comments when I didn’t do the same to you and B) not acknowledging that the majority of men who have a problem with women of any color being equal, are white men.

White men have been the most damaging in my life in terms of harassment, abuse, danger and attempts to silence my voice when I speak out about misogyny. So, what you brought forth makes no sense whatsoever for my particular life experience. The men of color I have interacted with have by and far been much more respectful, safe and nonjudgmental, including my Hispanic partner.

Continuing to perpetuate stereotypes about each other gets us no closer to the goal of equity. We all have biases, we all are responsible for unpacking them and taking action to dismantle these systems and change hearts and minds. I’m doing the work, are you?