Member-only story
What if your ‘people picker’ is not broken?
How to shift dysfunctional relationship patterns
I’ve noticed so many empathic and sensitive people who state, ‘I just don’t know how to choose the right relationships! I keep attracting people who take advantage, expect me to do everything, hit me up for money, lie to my face, drain my energy and always hurt me in the end.’
I understand your frustration my friends, as for years I thought my ‘people picker’ was broken too.
Let’s consider, for a moment, if it’s not.
One of the most important, healing realizations I came to, was that I had been unconsciously attracted to friends, work supervisors and romantic partners who were in some way, similar to my early caregivers.
These people who came into my life also signed up with me to re-enact their old family dramas and dysfunctions. Patterns of behavior that had been passed down for multiple generations; especially codependency.
After I set healthy boundaries, stood up for myself or left the relationship, I thought I had learned. I thought I knew how to pick out all the red flags.
But then I would find myself, right back in the same place, with a different person.
