Image credit: Pixabay

When an Empath Goes Supernova

Bevin Niemann-Cortez


Recently, I stumbled upon a website that severely triggered me. It’s run by a narcissistic sociopath who gives advice to empaths. For $50, you can email your story and he will analyze whether or not you are in a relationship with a narcissist and tell you how to get out.

My immediate reaction?

Why the fuck should someone who’s hurt people like me ever make a living off this!

I turned away angrily, yet some synchronicity led me back to his website. I opened my mind and my heart to his message. This time, I dove deep, reading one blog post after another and learning more about his background and journey to manage his diagnosis through therapy. I realized this is his atonement, the path his soul chose to transmute pain into healing for people like us.

An article about the empathic supernova unexpectedly released a huge burden within my heart. He describes the journey empaths take in a relationship with a narc. The manipulative love bombing we fall for in the beginning, the grief and anger about the abuse combined with our addictive desire to go back for more.

Maybe this time it will be different, maybe they will actually love me.

But then he described something I’d buried down in my psyche, a pocket of deep shame I wasn’t ready to face and heal until now.

When an empath goes through this destructive cycle, desperately clinging love mixed with self-doubt and confusion, we eventually reach our limit.

Then we go supernova.

Because we know this other person at a soul level, we know what drives them, their deep well of self-loathing, their core wounds. In order to escape, a supernova empath shuts down their heart and becomes cold and calculating.

We use anything and everything they’ve ever shared with us to beat them down. To wound, to cut, to defeat the narc at all costs.

Our essence and quite often our very lives are at stake in this moment.

We become just like them in order to escape. Nasty, bitter, controlling.

Afterwards, we’re horrified by what we allowed ourselves to become.



Bevin Niemann-Cortez

Social-Emotional Healer | Sacred Space Designer | Budding Herbalist