While this is true, it’s also incredibly helpful to recognize when you’ve been through a pattern of toxic, destructive relationships and find concrete steps to shift into a healthier pattern. Narcissism is on a scale, we all hold a bit of healthy narcissism or self interest, which allows us to reach for and ask for what we need. The reason so few people are diagnosed with NPD, is not because they are only 1% of the population, it’s because someone who is further on the narcissism scale would never admit they are the problem. Garden variety assholes are not generally not seeking therapy to change their ways, they tend to spend their time making life miserable for everyone around them, just because they can.

If you haven’t participated in these type of toxic, abusive and scary relationships, I’m glad for you. But don’t denigrate those who write about their experiences and try to help others simply because you’ve not experienced it yourself. You have no basis to judge what’s right for other people, without having walked that path personally.