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Why do we keep returning to that which drains us?
As I lay in bed tonight, quietly going over the day in my mind, I found my thoughts continuously drawn to several dramas that recently cropped back up again. A professional conflict I’m trying to decide whether to give attention to, memories from past relationships and continued healing from an estrangement with a family member.
Suddenly, I catch myself spiraling down into a negative train of thought, (which was making my body ache) so I asked, ‘Why am I going over these things again?’
I wait silently for an answer.
Welling up from within me comes one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac tunes, Dreams. How appropriate.
Thunder only happens when it’s raining;
Players only love you when they’re playing;
Say women they will come and they will go;
When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know.
Ah, I see now.
Players only love you when they’re playing. Some people need drama to feel alive, is that how I’m choosing to express my energy?
I used to be emotionally reactive most of the time and truth be told, I still get triggered regularly…
